{"id":373268,"date":"2018-07-06T05:07:55","date_gmt":"2018-07-06T03:07:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hudo.com\/si\/?p=373268"},"modified":"2018-07-06T05:07:55","modified_gmt":"2018-07-06T03:07:55","slug":"se-tudi-vas-otrok-kdaj-mece-po-tleh-cepeta-ima-izbruh-trme-in-besa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hudo.com\/si\/zdrav-duh-telo\/se-tudi-vas-otrok-kdaj-mece-po-tleh-cepeta-ima-izbruh-trme-in-besa\/","title":{"rendered":"Se tudi va\u0161 otrok kdaj me\u010de po tleh, cepeta, ima izbruh trme in besa?\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n\t\t\t\t\t
Foto: Profimedia<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Trma kot razvojni pojav<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Otrokova trma ni ni\u010d slabega, nasprotno, je znak otrokove razvijajo\u010de se osebnosti in lastne volje. Je izraz \u017eelje, da bi vplival na dogajanje okoli sebe in aktivno posegel v svet okoli sebe. Ko otrokova \u017eelja in iniciativa tr\u010di ob star\u0161evski NE, se pri otroku seveda pojavi frustracija. Iz tega se rodita odpor in trma.<\/p>\n

Klasi\u010den primer izbruha trme bi bil triletni Lukec, ki gre z mamo v trgovino po kruh in mleko. Mimogrede se zapi\u010di v avtomobil\u010dek na daljinca. Ho\u010de ga imeti, \u010deprav ga mama prepri\u010duje, da ga ne rabi, saj ima doma \u017ee tri podobne avtomobile. Lukec se ujezi, za\u010dne kri\u010dati: \u00bbAmpak jaz ho\u010dem, ho\u010dem, ho\u010dem ta avtomobil\u010dek!\u00ab V obraz je ves zaripel, pesti ima stisnjene, brca z nogama, plane v silovit jok. Ljudje se za\u010dnejo ozirati, mama je v vidni zadregi. Kako bo ravnala?<\/p>\n

Kako se spoprijeti z otro\u0161ko trmo?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Star\u0161i se ob tak\u0161nih izbruhih, \u0161e zlasti, \u010de se zgodijo v javnosti, lahko po\u010dutimo stisnjene v kot. Sram nas je, ker se na\u0161 otrok tako obna\u0161a, po\u010dutimo se nesposobne, nemo\u010dne in jezne. Luk\u010deva mama ima najmanj tri mo\u017enosti. Lahko zavpije na otroka, da se tako ne obna\u0161a, ga trdno zgrabi za roko in \u010dim prej odvle\u010de iz trgovine. V avtu mu jih po\u0161teno napoje in mu po mo\u017enosti nalo\u017ei \u0161e eno po zadnji plati. Nemalo star\u0161ev ravna tako. Vendar s tem dose\u017eejo nasproten u\u010dinek. Namesto, da bi pomagali otroku, da prebrodi napad trme in se umiri, ga \u0161e dodatno razburijo. \u010ce naposled utihne, to stori iz strahu pred zagro\u017eeno kaznijo, v njegovi notranjosti pa \u0161e vedno vse vre.<\/p>\n

Pomembno je vedeti, da otroci tega ne po\u010dnejo nala\u0161\u010d in iz hudobije, ampak ker \u0161e ne zmorejo druga\u010de. Pri teh letih namre\u010d deli mo\u017eganov odgovorni za racionalno razmi\u0161ljanje \u0161e niso dovolj razviti, zato jih zlasti v stresnih trenutkih preglasijo tisti deli mo\u017eganov, ki so odgovorni za \u010dustva in pre\u017eivetje.<\/span>\u00a0\u010custveni mo\u017egani se odzivajo glede na telesno po\u010dutje, pre\u017eivetveni mo\u017egani pa so zadol\u017eeni za zagotavljanje osnovnih pre\u017eivetvenih pogojev neoziraje se na okolico. Slednji nam narekujemo, da moramo v konfliktu uveljaviti svoje, ne glede na posledice.<\/p>\n

Ostanimo umirjeni in so\u010dutni<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

To pri otrocih \u0161e zlasti pride do izraza, kadar ne dose\u017eejo ne\u010desa, kar so si zamislili, se \u010dutijo nesli\u0161ane, nerazumljene, skratka so frustrirani. Posledi\u010dno ne morejo nadzorovati svojega vedenja in planejo v silovit jok, brcajo, kri\u010dijo, nenadzorovano tekajo, butajo z glavo \u2026 Pri tem pa do\u017eivljajo silovito stisko.Takrat ob sebi nujno potrebujejo umirjene, so\u010dutne star\u0161e, ki ob njih enostavno zdr\u017eijo in jim ovrednotijo njihovo do\u017eivljanje. Ni prav, da takrat otroka po\u0161iljamo v svojo sobo ali kako druga\u010de odrivamo od sebe. Tudi, \u010de je navzven videti, kot da nas odriva on, si globoko v sebi \u017eeli na\u0161e bli\u017eine, da bi ga objeli in potola\u017eili.<\/p>\n

Luk\u010deva mama bi lahko rekla nekaj takega: \u00bbRazumem te, da si jezen, ker si \u017eeli\u0161 ta avtomobil\u010dek, jaz pa ti ga no\u010dem kupiti. Lahko se jezi\u0161, ampak tega avtomobil\u010dka ti \u0161e vedno ne bom kupila, ker ima\u0161 doma \u017ee tri podobne.\u00ab \u010ce bi se dovolil objeti, bi ga objela. \u010ce ne, pa bi ga ne\u017eno, vendar odlo\u010dno odpeljala iz trgovine. Ko bi bil napad mimo, bi se z njim pogovorila o njegovem neprimernem obna\u0161anju v trgovini.<\/p>\n

Pomembno je, da smo dosledni<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

\u010ce bi Luk\u010deva mama popustila in mu zaradi ljubega miru kupila avtomobil\u010dek, sebi in sinu ne bi ravno naredila usluge. S tem bi mu namre\u010d dala vedeti, da da lahko na ta na\u010din pride do \u017eelenega in izpade bi za\u010del uporabljati premi\u0161ljeno za dosego svojega cilja. Psihiater in nevroznanstvenik Dr. Dan Siegel v svoji knjigi Celostni razvoj otro\u0161kih mo\u017eganov star\u0161em predlaga 12 strategij v te\u017ekih trenutkih vzgoje. Mo\u017egane glede na funkcije razdeli na leve in desne, zgornje in spodnje. \u010ce tukaj na\u0161tejem le \u0161tiri strategije:<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0Pove\u017eite se in preusmerite:<\/b>\u00a0Ko je va\u0161 otrok razburjen, se najprej pove\u017eite \u010dustveno, desna polovica mo\u017eganov z desno polovico mo\u017eganov. Ko ima ve\u010d nadzora in je dojemljiv, za\u010dnite z levomo\u017eganskimi lekcijami in disciplino.<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0Poimenujte, da umirite:<\/b>\u00a0Ko se razbesnijo velika desnomo\u017eganska \u010dustva, otroku pomagajte, da pove zgodbo o tem, kaj ga je razburilo. Pri tem bo uporabil svojo levo polovico mo\u017eganov, da bo osmislil izku\u0161njo in dobil ve\u010d nadzora.<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0Pritegnite ga, ne pa razbesnite:<\/b>\u00a0V zelo stresnih situacijah otrokove mo\u017egane v prvem nadstropju zaposlite tako, da mu svetujete, naj premisli, na\u010drtuje in izbira; ne aktivirajte njegovih mo\u017eganov v pritli\u010dju, ki manj mislijo in se bolj odzivajo.<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0Razgibajte ga, da ga ne izgubite:<\/b>\u00a0\u010ce otroka pripravite do tega, da bo telesno dejaven, mu bo to pomagalo uravnote\u017eiti prvo nadstropje in pritli\u010dje njegovih mo\u017eganov.<\/p>\n

Pomembno je, da se star\u0161i zavedajo, da je frustracija zgolj otrokova in se ne poistovetijo z njegovo stisko, ampak jo za\u010dutijo, v sebi predelajo in mu predelano vrnejo v obliki so\u010dutnih besed in telesnega stika. S tem se otrok nau\u010di, da je stiska nekaj obvladljivega.<\/p>\n

V primeru, da se stra\u0161i na vsako otrokovo trmo, jezo in bes odzovejo burno, se bo otrok iz tega nau\u010dil tega, da ne sme izra\u017eati svojih realnih trenutnih \u010dustev in bo za star\u0161evsko ljubezen ostal poslu\u0161en. V tem primeru bo otrok presko\u010dil pomembno fazo oblikovanja mo\u017eganov, ki jo krepi star\u0161evski odnos, sprejemanja izra\u017eanja otrokovih ob\u010dutij. To bi lahko kasneje v \u017eivljenju pomenilo, da se bo ob vsaki nadvladi negativnih \u010dustev posameznik odzval z besom.<\/p>\n

Z na\u0161im so\u010dutnim odzivom na otrokovo stisko mu poka\u017eemo brezpogojno sprejemanje in ljubezen, ko deluje kot vstopnica v svet sre\u010dnega otro\u0161tva, mladostni\u0161tva in odraslosti.<\/p>\n

Originalni \u010dlanek najdete na spletni strani\u00a0Marije Rem\u0161kar<\/a>,<\/strong>\u00a0doktorandke zakonske in dru\u017einske terapije, ki izvaja individualne, partnerske in dru\u017einske terapije. Za ve\u010d informacij lahko obi\u0161\u010dete njeno spletno stran\u00a0Psihoterapija MR<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Naj vas potola\u017eim, da so tak\u0161ni pojavi pri majhnih otrocih med drugim in petim letom starosti nekaj normalnega. To ne pomeni, da je otrok slabo vzgojen in da ste vi slabi star\u0161i. Pomeni le, da njegovi mo\u017egani \u0161e niso dovolj razviti, da bi lahko uravnaval svoje ob\u010dutke, zato ga le ti v\u010dasih povsem preplavijo.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2577,11510,8245,1409],"source":[1410,1335,1334],"supertag":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nSe tudi va\u0161 otrok kdaj me\u010de po tleh, cepeta, ima izbruh trme in besa?\u00a0 - Hudo Slovenija<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/hudo.com\/si\/zdrav-duh-telo\/se-tudi-vas-otrok-kdaj-mece-po-tleh-cepeta-ima-izbruh-trme-in-besa\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"sl_SI\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Se tudi va\u0161 otrok kdaj me\u010de po tleh, cepeta, ima izbruh trme in besa?\u00a0 - Hudo Slovenija\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Naj vas potola\u017eim, da so tak\u0161ni pojavi pri majhnih otrocih med drugim in petim letom starosti nekaj normalnega. 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