{"id":75422,"date":"2016-06-15T05:01:00","date_gmt":"2016-06-15T03:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hudo.com\/si\/?p=75422"},"modified":"2016-06-23T13:30:24","modified_gmt":"2016-06-23T11:30:24","slug":"kako-se-naucimo-reci-ne","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hudo.com\/si\/zdrav-duh-telo\/kako-se-naucimo-reci-ne\/","title":{"rendered":"Kako se nau\u010dimo re\u010di NE?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n\t\t\t\t\t
Foto: Thinkstock<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Zgodnji naslov se br\u017ekone nahaja v mnogih priro\u010dnikih, rubrikah \u017eenskih revij in spletnih
\nstraneh, kjer se delijo nasveti kako se kar najbolj okrepiti v smislu dovolitve poseganja drugih v lastni intimni prostor. Moj dana\u0161nji prispevek se bo bolj osredoto\u010dal na to, kako ljudje te\u017eko izre\u010demo \u00bbne\u00ab, zakaj je temu tako in kako jo natreniramo.<\/p>\n

Zakaj je pomembno, da se znamo postaviti zase?<\/h2>\n

\u010ce sami sebi ne postavimo meje in si ne opredelimo kje je tista \u00bb\u010drta\u00ab, do katere nam pomembni drugi posamezniki lahko vsiljujejo svoje misli, ideje in potrebe, potem bomo vedno znova obsojeni, da bomo sami sebe izgubili v zahtevah drugih.<\/p>\n

To pomeni, da moramo zbrati pogum in v situaciji, kjer se od nas pri\u010dakuje, da prikimamo, mi dejansko zmoremo odkimati in re\u010di NE, \u010de se z neko zahtevo ne strinjamo ali je no\u010demo potrditi, sprejeti. Znati oblikovati besedico \u00bbne\u00ab in jo v ustreznem trenutku sporo\u010diti sogovorniku na tak na\u010din, da jo razume in spo\u0161tuje, zahteva od ve\u010dine posameznikov kar nekaj treninga.<\/p>\n

Mnogi od nas smo bili \u0161e vzgojeni tako, da so nam star\u0161i vbili v glavo, da besedica \u00bbne\u00ab
\nne obstaja in da moramo vedno star\u0161em prikimavati in se z vsem strinjati. Enako so od nas zahtevali v \u0161olskem izobra\u017eevalnem sistemu, kjer so bili u\u010ditelji glavni in se jim ni smelo in tudi pomislili nismo, da bi jim ugovarjali. Ko smo pri\u0161li v slu\u017ebe, so \u0161efi in direktorji imeli vedno prav, mi pa smo spet sklonili glavo in nismo ugovarjali. Tako so se vzorci prena\u0161ali iz generacije v generacijo in malokateri otrok je zmogel ohraniti pokon\u010dno dr\u017eo in se upreti zahtevam tak\u0161nega okolja (je pa\u010d obveljal za \u010drno ovco).<\/p>\n

Kako naj se torej posameznik od tak\u0161ne avtoritativne vzgoje in okolja, ki pri\u010dakuje, da se z vsem strinjamo, nau\u010di re\u010di \u00bbne, tega ne \u017eelim, to no\u010dem, tega ne dovolim, tukaj je meja, ki je prosim ne prestopi\u00ab?<\/p>\n

\u010ce mi dovolite, da za trenutek zaidem s teme prispevka, naj omenim, da dana\u0161nji potro\u0161ni\u0161ki dru\u017ebi povsem odgovarja, da mno\u017eica globalno ne zna re\u010di \u00bbne\u00ab, torej ji lahko preko ogla\u0161evanja in reklam vsili domala vse, kar sproducira in kar se mora seveda tudi prodati, mi pa moramo to nekriti\u010dno kupiti.<\/p>\n

\n\t\t\t\t\t
Melita Kuhar Pucko vodi partnersko svetovalnico Svetovalnica.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Kako oblikujemo prijazen NE?<\/h2>\n

Pri svojem delu s strankami v Svetovalnici sem opazila, da si ve\u010dina parov ni povedala
\njasno in glasno \u010desar no\u010de temve\u010d je svoje potrebe in zahteve zavijala v okrasni papir
\nter po\u0161iljala dvoumna sporo\u010dila, druga stran pa tega seveda ni znala razbrati in kreg ter
\nnerazumevanje sta bila tu. Znati na lep na\u010din re\u010di ne in to pri tem tudi misliti, je kar zahtevno, sploh \u010de nismo bili tako vzgojeni, da nam je bilo dovoljeno izraziti svoje \u017eelje in misli. Torej se moramo nau\u010diti izraziti \u00bbprijazni NE\u00ab in opredeliti mejo, preko katere ne \u017eelimo, da jo drugi posameznik prestopi. Ti drugi posamezniki so lahko: partner, prijatelj, otrok, star\u0161, ne nazadnje pa tudi mi sami.<\/p>\n

Moramo se osvoboditi strahu, da nas bo doletela kazen, \u010de bomo izrazili svoje stali\u0161\u010de na
\nprimeren na\u010din in \u010de se bomo postavili zase. To je del na\u0161e osebne integritete in upravi\u010deni smo do tega, da nas drugi sli\u0161ijo in spo\u0161tujejo na\u0161e postavljene meje in \u017eelje. Seveda enako velja za nas \u2013 da tudi mi sli\u0161imo in spo\u0161tujemo besedico \u00bbne\u00ab, ko nam jo druga stran sporo\u010di.<\/p>\n

Zdravi temelji se lahko zgradijo na medsebojnem spo\u0161tovanju in upo\u0161tevanju tega, da se obe strani sli\u0161ita pa \u010detudi se mogo\u010de vedno ne strinjata. To je tudi ena od za\u010dimb \u017eivljenja.<\/p>\n

O zgoraj napisanem in o tem, ali znamo in na kak\u0161en na\u010din postaviti meje nam bli\u017enjim ter kako biti pri tem uspe\u0161ni, lahko ve\u010d izveste v novem PRIGODKU, ki ga organiziramo v okviru Svetovalnice in ki bo potekal v \u010detrtek, 10.2.2011 ob 18.uri v prostorih Svetovalnice na Parmovi ulici 41, Ljubljana.<\/p>\n

\u010ce bi radi kaj vpra\u0161ali, lahko svoja vpra\u0161anja lahko po\u0161ljete na: info@svetovalnica.si. Avtorica kolumne Melita Kuhar vodi projekt Svetovalnica.si. Ve\u010d o vzgojni tematiki in ostalih medsebojnih odnosih lahko preberete na spletni strani www.svetovalnica.si.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ljudje se pogosto ne znamo postaviti zase in re\u010di NE… O tem, kako se tega priu\u010diti, pi\u0161e strokovnjakinja Melita Kuhar Pucko.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1427,1433,3048],"source":[1367,1335,1334],"supertag":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nKako se nau\u010dimo re\u010di NE? - Hudo Slovenija<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/hudo.com\/si\/zdrav-duh-telo\/kako-se-naucimo-reci-ne\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"sl_SI\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Kako se nau\u010dimo re\u010di NE? - Hudo Slovenija\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Ljudje se pogosto ne znamo postaviti zase in re\u010di NE... 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