{"id":8575,"date":"2016-03-21T06:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-03-21T05:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/master.hudo.com\/si\/2016\/03\/21\/kdo-je-kriv-za-varanje\/"},"modified":"2016-04-06T06:07:16","modified_gmt":"2016-04-06T04:07:16","slug":"kdo-je-kriv-za-varanje","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hudo.com\/si\/lifestyle\/seks-partnerstvo\/kdo-je-kriv-za-varanje\/","title":{"rendered":"Kdo je kriv za varanje?"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure>\n\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"660\" height=\"320\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" class=\"lazyload\" data-src=\"http:\/\/zenska.hudo.com\/files\/2011\/04\/thinkstockphotos-452522731-320x155.jpg\" data-srcset=\"http:\/\/zenska.hudo.com\/files\/2011\/04\/thinkstockphotos-452522731-660x320.jpg 660w,http:\/\/zenska.hudo.com\/files\/2011\/04\/thinkstockphotos-452522731-320x155.jpg 330w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 660px) 100vw, 660px\"\/><figcaption>Foto: Thinkstock<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Poznate frazo, da nekdo sedi na dveh stolih? Prepri\u010dana sem, da se va\u0161a prva misel o tem nana\u0161a na skoke \u010dez plot. In res imam prav to v mislih. Pri svojem delu v Svetovalnici se zelo pogosto sre\u010dujem s realno situacijo, ko ima soprog poleg svoje zakonite soproge \u0161e ljubico. Dostikrat tak\u0161en soprog to tudi pove svoji soprogi s sporo\u010dilom, da se je \u00bbzgodilo\u00ab in da je zaljubljen v to drugo \u017eensko.<\/p>\n<h2>Obstajata dve vrsti prevaranih \u017eena<\/h2>\n<p>Reakcije prevaranih \u017een so razli\u010dne, lahko pa ju lo\u010dimo v dve poglavitni skupini. Ena skupina tak\u0161nega nezvestega mo\u017ea nemudoma na\u017eene in zamenja klju\u010davnico skupnega doma ter mu sporo\u010di, da se vidita na sodi\u0161\u010du zaradi razveze. Pri tej skupini mnogokrat mo\u0161ki ostanejo presene\u010deni, ker se jim zdi, da bi se \u017eena morala boriti za njih, da si jih pridobi nazaj, vendar se to ne zgodi. Druga skupina pa zajame sapo, sesede se pod te\u017eo razo\u010daranja, raz\u017ealitve in poni\u017eanja, vendar se zaveda svoje \u017eelje, da \u017eeli re\u0161iti kar se da in krene v boj za mo\u017ea.<\/p>\n<h2>Vedno sta potrebna dva krivca<\/h2>\n<p>Vedno poudarjam, da sta za tak\u0161no situacijo potrebna dva \u00bbkrivca\u00ab, ki si delita vsak svoj del \u00bbkrivde\u00ab in to sta tako mo\u017e kot \u017eena. Vse premalo partnerk se zaveda, da s svojim neprestanim kritiziranjem, nerganjem, zahtevanjem nekih stvari, ki jih mo\u017eje ne znajo ali ne morejo izvr\u0161iti tudi same pripomorejo k temu, da tak\u0161en soprog za\u010dne pogledovati naokoli po novi \u017eenski, ki mu ne bi kar naprej te\u017eila in nekaj zahtevala. Da ne govorim o tem, da je najbolj ubijalsko oro\u017eje nekega odnosa to, da se \u017eena odlo\u010di, da bo kaznovala mo\u017ea tako, da se upira seksu, kar lahko traja dolge mesece in celo leta! In potem se tak\u0161na \u017eenska \u010dudi in je prizadeta, ker postane prevarana \u017eena, ne more pa sprejeti dejstva, da je tudi sama pripomogla k svojemu \u00bbporazu\u00ab svojo polovico, ko je mo\u017ea odrivala, negirala njegova \u010dustva ali \u017eelje ter je pogostokrat igrala princesko na zrnu graha.<\/p>\n<h2>\u017drtve so otroci<\/h2>\n<p>Zgoraj napisano z rahlimi modifikacijami velja tudi za obratno situacijo, ko je \u017eena tista, ki se zaljubi v drugega mo\u0161kega in \u017eeli na novo definirati odnose. V tak\u0161nem razmerju je obi\u010dajno problem ta, da tak\u0161na \u017eenska \u017eeli s seboj k novi \u00bbljubezni\u00ab odpeljati tudi svoje otroke in si nato biv\u0161a zakonca otroke, obi\u010dajno mladoletne, premetavata sem ter tja kot da so vre\u010de krompirja. Otroci so obi\u010dajno najve\u010dje \u017ertve egoizma obeh star\u0161ev. Zato vedno znova poudarjam vlogo iskrenega in pravo\u010dasnega raz\u010di\u0161\u010devanja problemov, izra\u017eanja potreb, iskanja kompromisov in \u017eeleti si najbolj\u0161e za svojo dru\u017eino in zakon.<\/p>\n<h2>Sedenje na dveh stolih<\/h2>\n<p>Mo\u0161ki so v\u010dasih malo hecni, ko iskreno povejo, da si \u017eelijo, da bi, \u010de bi lahko, zdru\u017eili \u017eeno in ljubico v eno osebo in bi tako ubili dve muhi na en mah, saj obi\u010dajno trdijo, da imajo \u017eeno radi, v ljubico so pa v tem trenutku zaljubljeni. Kar pa se ne zavedajo, je dejstvo, da \u010detudi gredo z ljubico novemu \u017eivljenju nasproti, bodo iste napake ponavljali tudi v novem razmerju in tudi vedno nova ljubica bo le vedno slab\u0161a kopija predhodne ljubice ali \u017eene. Kar vseskozi poudarjam, je dejstvo, da se je po razhodu potrebno ozreti v sebe, poiskati lastna \u010dustva ter si zgraditi listo prioritet, ki nas bodo vodile v nova zdrava razmerja. Ker pa ljudje nismo roboti, temve\u010d smo pod ko\u017eo vsi krvavi, so tudi varanja in prikrivanja sestavni del \u017eivljenja in bojev, s katerimi se bolj ali manj uspe\u0161no soo\u010damo dokler dihamo. In \u010de smem biti malo \u017eleht, pravi stara ljudska modrost, da kdor sedi na dveh stolih, mu stisne \u00bbdru\u017einske dragulje\u00ab, kar mo\u0161ki potrdijo, da zelo boli. \u010ce pa sedi \u017eenska na dveh stolih, velja, da ali ima \u0161iroko zadnjo plat in je dva stola sploh ne motita ali pa ima enostavno prepih pod ritko.<\/p>\n<p>Ravnajte zrelo in odgovorno, potrudite se za svoje zakonske polovice, \u010de pa vseeno neko razmerje razpade, ostanite kljub vsemu \u010dlove\u0161ki in razumni.<\/p>\n<p>Avtorica prispevka sem univerzitetna diplomirana socialna pedagoginja in diplomirana socialna delavka <strong>Melita Kuhar<\/strong>, ki vodim projekt <strong>Svetovalnica<\/strong>,<span style=\"color: #ff00ff;\"><strong> <a style=\"color: #ff00ff;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.svetovalnica.si\/\" target=\"_blank\">www.svetovalnica.si<\/a><\/strong><\/span>, dosegljiva sem na tel.\u0161t. <strong>031 666 168<\/strong>. \u010ce bi se radi naro\u010dili na individualno svetovanje ali me kaj povpra\u0161ali, pi\u0161ite na:<span style=\"color: #ff00ff;\"><strong><a style=\"color: #ff00ff;\" href=\"mailto:info@svetovalnica.si\" target=\"_blank\">info@svetovalnica.si<\/a><\/strong><\/span>.<\/p>\n<p>Ve\u010d o zgoraj napisanem si lahko preberete tudi socialnem omre\u017eju <span style=\"color: #ff00ff;\"><strong><a style=\"color: #ff00ff;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Svetovalnica\" target=\"_blank\">www.facebook.com\/Svetovalnica<\/a><\/strong><\/span>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Melita Kuhar je pripravila zanimiv \u010dlanek o varanju, ki vam bo morda nekatere stvari pokazal iz druge perspektive.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1092],"tags":[1427,1451,1452,1376],"source":[1365,1364,1334],"supertag":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Kdo je kriv za varanje? 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